what is going on?

deny.deny.deny.

that's all you ever do.

won't you just fucking tell me whats going on in your confusing mind?

off.on.off.on.

that's all we ever are.

i know we have the potential to be happy for good.

i loved you. i guess thats where i went wrong.

but still...

i loved the way you air drummed on my knee in the car.

i loved our adventures to beautiful places.

i loved watching you on stage, tear the drums up.

i loved when you would tell me hush because you were shy.

i loved how you would brush my hair off my face.

i loved your art. and your creativity.

i loved the major difference between us, that bothered you, but never, ever me.

everyone always told me, you know, when you talk about him, think about him or are with him you smile the biggest smile, throughout your whole body. you have a sparkle in your eye.

i loved, loved, loved our eskimo and butterfly kisses.

i loved going to the movies with you, and how you would rub my hand with your thumb.

sneaking a quick toke before whatever we did.

our picnics.

our puzzle pieced kisses, that were perfect.
the ridge, counting satellites in the night sky.

i want it all back, too bad its to the point i dont think it will ever be the same.

at least for you.

i love you though, which means i can forgive.

am i worth the fight?

i'm hoping.

unless she has already swooped you off your feet...

just know i love you, i will always remember everything.

snow days.

smooch smooch!

sleep tight girl, see you in my dreams.

baby baby, i miss you.

i think about you everyday while i'm gone.

what happened to, "im leaving you for a bit, but know that i'm also coming home to you, and no one else. "